Signs he is just using you for attention

25 Signs He Is Just Using You for Attention

In the realm of dating and relationships, it can sometimes be difficult to determine someone’s true intentions. While we all desire genuine connections, some individuals exploit others for their selfish gain.

If you suspect that the person you’re involved with may be using you for attention, it’s essential to recognize the warning signs. In this blog post, we will explore 25 common indications that he might not have your best interests at heart.

By being aware of these signs, you can protect yourself from emotional manipulation and make informed decisions about your relationships.

25 Signs He Is Just Using You for Attention

Here are 25 signs to know.

#1 Limited interest in your life:

If your partner shows little curiosity or investment in your personal experiences, dreams, or aspirations, it may indicate that they are more focused on themselves and their own needs. They may not genuinely care about getting to know you on a deeper level.

#2 Inconsistent communication:

 If your partner only reaches out when they want attention and frequently ignores you at other times, it suggests that they are using you as a source of validation and entertainment when it suits them, rather than valuing consistent communication and connection.

#3 Flirting with others:

Excessive flirting or displaying interest in other people, even when you’re together, is a clear sign that your partner is seeking attention from multiple sources. This behavior demonstrates a lack of respect for your feelings and can be emotionally hurtful.

#4 Public displays of affection for the show:

If your partner uses public displays of affection solely to impress others or maintain a certain image, rather than expressing genuine affection, it indicates that their actions are driven by a need for attention and validation from others.

#5 Lack of emotional support:

A partner who dismisses or downplays your feelings and fails to provide the emotional support you need is likely not invested in your well-being. They may be more concerned with their own emotional needs or simply lack empathy.

#6 Disappearing during tough times:

If your partner is noticeably absent or distant when you’re going through difficult moments or facing challenges, it shows a lack of genuine care and support. They may only want to be around during the good times and are unwilling to provide the necessary emotional support during the tough times.

#7 Cancelling plans frequently:

Frequent last-minute cancellations or rescheduling of plans demonstrate a lack of commitment and regard for your time and importance. It implies that your partner prioritizes their desires and whims over maintaining a stable and consistent relationship.

#8 Seeking validation from others:

A partner who constantly seeks attention and validation from others, even at the expense of your relationship, is likely using you as a means to boost their self-esteem. They rely on external sources to validate their self-worth instead of cultivating a healthy emotional connection with you.

#9 Self-centered behavior:

If your partner consistently puts their own needs and desires before yours and shows little regard for your feelings, it indicates that they are primarily focused on themselves. They may be using you as a means to fulfil their desires without considering your well-being.

#10 Ignoring your boundaries:

If your partner repeatedly crosses your boundaries, whether it’s regarding personal space, privacy, or emotional limits, it demonstrates a lack of respect and consideration. They may be more interested in fulfilling their own needs and desires, regardless of how it affects them.             

#11 Lack of plans:

Avoiding discussions or making long-term plans together indicates that your partner is not interested in committing to a future with you. They may be using you for temporary attention or companionship without any intention of building a lasting relationship.

#12 Making empty promises:

If your partner frequently makes promises but fails to follow through on them, it leaves you feeling disappointed and let down. This behavior shows a lack of sincerity and indicates that they may be using promises as a way to keep you engaged without any intention of fulfilling them.

If your partner frequently makes promises but fails to follow through on them, it leaves you feeling disappointed and let down.

#13 Withholding affection:

If your partner only shows affection when it benefits them or withdraws it when they no longer need attention, it reveals a transactional approach to the relationship. They may be using affection as a tool for personal gain rather than expressing genuine love and care.

#14 Using social media as a tool:

If your partner only acknowledges your existence or posts about you on social media when it suits their image or when they want attention, it indicates that their actions are driven by external validation rather than genuine affection for you.

#15 Keeping you a secret:

Intentionally avoiding introducing you to their friends and family and keeping your relationship hidden suggests that your partner is not interested in a committed and public partnership. They may be using you as a hidden source of attention while maintaining other public appearances.

#16 Lack of effort in the bedroom:

Prioritizing their pleasure and satisfaction while neglecting their needs and desires in the bedroom indicates a self-centered approach to intimacy. It suggests that they are more focused on their gratification rather than fostering a mutually satisfying and caring sexual relationship.

#17 Always seeking admiration:

If your partner constantly craves attention, praise, and admiration, even at the expense of others’ well-being, it demonstrates a self-centered nature. They may use you as a source of constant validation and attention without reciprocating in a meaningful way.

#18 Disrespecting your time:

Frequent lateness or keeping you waiting without a valid reason shows a lack of consideration for your time and indicates that they prioritize their schedule over your shared commitments.

#19 Gaslighting and manipulation:

Using psychological tactics to make you doubt yourself, question your perceptions, or manipulate your emotions is a clear sign of emotional manipulation. It’s a form of control that can be used to keep you hooked and dependent on their attention.

#20 Minimal effort in conversations:

Engaging in shallow or one-sided conversations without investing in deeper emotional connections shows a lack of interest in truly getting to know you. They may use conversations as a means to maintain superficial attention rather than fostering meaningful communication.

#21 Fluctuating availability:

Being present and engaged only when it’s convenient for them, while frequently disappearing without explanation, reveals an inconsistent and unreliable pattern of behavior. They may prioritize their own needs and whims without considering the impact on your emotional well-being.

#22 Exhibiting controlling behavior:

If your partner tries to control your actions, decisions, or social interactions, it indicates a desire for power and dominance. They may use control as a way to keep you dependent on their attention and to limit your independence.

#23 Lack of empathy:

Showing little empathy or compassion towards your struggles or challenges reveals a lack of emotional connection. They may be more interested in their own needs and emotions without genuinely understanding or caring about yours.

#24 Criticizing and belittling you:

Consistently criticizing or belittling you erodes your self-esteem and self-worth. It’s a form of emotional manipulation that keeps you seeking their attention and approval, even at the cost of your emotional well-being.

#25 Refusing to acknowledge your needs:

If your partner consistently disregards your desires and consistently prioritizes their wants and needs without compromise, it demonstrates a lack of mutual respect and consideration. They may view you as a means to fulfil their desires without reciprocating care and attention.

Read more: Signs He Is Just Keeping You Around.


Recognizing the signs that someone is using you for attention is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. If you find yourself experiencing several of these signs, it’s essential to have an honest conversation with your partner about your concerns.

Remember, you deserve to be with someone who values and respects you. Don’t settle for being someone’s temporary source of attention. Trust your instincts, set healthy boundaries, and prioritize your well-being.

Surround yourself with individuals who genuinely care for you, and over time, you will find a partner who appreciates you for who you are, rather than what you can offer them.

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